Things I liked in the ’00s: Loose ends

Things I didn’t remember to include either here or here. I know, I’m like Bill Simmons in my inability to edit myself. Except my job is to edit. Anyways…

  • Writings after September 11, 2001: I did write about my pre-9/11 concerns and post-9/11 propheteering, in two of my trilogy of off-the-cuff, unedited thinking-out-loud essays on our post-9/11 world. I just forgot I wrote about a billion words about it. Yet I remembered every bit of the article on that guy who peed his way out of an avalanche. Funny thing, memory.
  • Everything The Onion did. If I had to pick one, though, it’s “McDonald’s Drops ‘Hammurderer’ Character From Advertising.” Not just for the story, but for the horrific-but-genius closer: “The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid’s 1989 discontinuation of “The Grapist,” a huge purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children.”
  • The band Thrice. I don’t pretend to be a music critic, but to me, this seems like a band that has continuously grown in its musical and songwriting acumen. Few of the other thrashy emo bands have even bothered to try. Check them out: there’s something for most people, I think.
  • Terror-fighting dolphins. The best real story ever about dolphins, and almost as good as The Onion’s “Dolphins evolve opposable thumbs; ‘Oh shit, says humanity'”.
  • Favorite TV episodes: Looking in the archives, I discovered an unpublished post where I tried to narrow down my top 10 episodes of all time. The following were from the ’00s:
    • Arrested Development — “Pier Pressure”
    • Arrested Development — “Afternoon Delight”
    • The Office — “Casino Night”
    • Scrubs — “My Screwup”
      For a 2000s list, I’d add (among dozens of worthy contenders):
    • Arrested Development — “Mr. F”
    • Modern Family — “Fitzbo”
    • Better Off Ted — “Racial Sensitivity”
    • Chuck — “Chuck Versus the DeLorean” (with a nod to the “Mr. Roboto” cover in the Season 2 finale)
    • The West Wing — “Noel”
    • How I Met Your Mother — “Slap Bet”

      Well, if I left anything out, it’s too late. The ’00s are just about gone.

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